Fitz dreams of living in a dome-shaped house surrounded by a vast desert. Therein he would spend his days creating music, doing martial arts, and tinkering with computers.
Until then, he has this
Web site...
Fitz dreams of living in a dome-shaped house surrounded by a vast desert. Therein he would spend his days creating music, doing martial arts, and tinkering with computers.
Until then, he has this
Web site...
The funeral went astonishingly well -- it was seamless without being soulless. My mother held up admirably. Dave impressed a number of people with his playing, including the minister who commented: "I've never heard anyone who could play pop tunes in a style that blended so seamlessly into a funeral". My brother's reception was very nice and everyone seemed to think I did a fine job on the eulogy (see below). It was by far the toughest speech I've ever had to give.
And I do feel better. A sense of closure rests upon us all now. Tomorrow starts a new chapter and I'm somehow sure, a brighter day.
Thanks again for everyone who's written, sent cards, and/or attended the funeral. I know I'm not the most emotional guy, but believe me, I really appreciated it.
Thank you all for coming
Those of you who knew my father knew he was a man who disliked parties, ceremonies, or gatherings of any sort. When he married my mother 44 years ago he insisted the ceremony be performed at 2:00 p.m. on a Wednesday to ensure that as few relatives as possible could attend. He also requested his funeral be held at a similarly inconvenient time. So I'm very glad to see so many of you have decided to thwart his plans and show up here anyway. Thank you.
In describing any man there are the facts and then there is the man himself. The facts are easy and transparent.
My Father was born in 1943, in Ripley Tennessee to a family of modest means. He married my mother in 1964. Had two children, my brother Mark and I. Had a distinguished 29-year career in the FBI. And he retired a country gentleman who raised prize winning Andalusian horses.
This path was punctuated with hard work, integrity, and personal distinction.
There are so many other colorful stories in his life I wish I had time to tell. From his missions to exotic spots in the globe, to his restoration of my parent's 19th century farmhouse to the impressive parental restraint he showed when I, as a high school student with a new drivers license, dented his beloved GTO muscle car.
So those are the facts of his life but they speak little of the man himself, probably because he was a difficult man to know. He was somewhat reclusive, kept few friends, and was happiest in his home surrounded by his close family.
In many ways he was like a great stone at the edge of the ocean. The waves of life would come roaring around him with urgency and novelty and yet he would remain unmoved, unchanged.
When the FBI repeated suggested he move his family to further his career he stayed right where he was. When trends in culture and fashion pointed in new directions he was unimpressed. And when the newspapers cried out with turbulent times, he was unfazed.
At times his stoicism could be maddening. He was stubborn, he was set in his ways. He didn't like to try new things and he just couldn't understand that white converse tennis shoes had gone horribly out of fashion in the mid-1980s.
But more often his steadfastness was a source of great comfort. To be with my father was to visit a safe harbor where the familiar trappings of home and family never varied. The certainty with which he loved his family, his horses, his dogs -- mostly his dogs really -- and his simple country life never wavered. To understand that is to understand something of the man and why we loved him so.
So again I want to thank you all for coming out to help us honor my father, our great stone, who has finally been moved out into the deep vast sea. Goodbye dad.
Thank you
10/1/2008 | Permanent Link
We're putting my dad in the ground tomorrow. If I can just get thru delivering the eulogy my world will brighten considerably. Big thanks to my buddy Dave for stepping in to play the music.
The ceremony will be at 10:30 at Everly-Wheatley Funeral Home. The cemetery is Ivy Hill and the reception is at my brother's directly after the burial.
Everly-Wheatley Funeral Home
(703) 998-9200
1500 W Braddock Rd
Alexandria, VA 22302
Ivy Hill Cemetery Company of Alexandria
2823 King Street
Alexandria, Virginia
9/30/2008 | Permanent Link
My dad died yesterday morning. He'd gone into real decline Monday and I spent the entire night with my mom looking over him. By 4:30 in the morning he seemed to be doing better. His breathing was less labored and he seemed a bit more lucid than the night before. I gently woke my mother and told her I was going out for a few hours to shower and swing by work to let them know I was taking a few days off and grab some files. At 7:20, on my drive back to their condo, she called with the news. It was awful.
I'm still extremely tired, sick with a head cold, and (as best I can describe it) feeling very disconnected from everything outside the family right now. There just seems a great deal to do. Thanks to everyone who has written with condolences, offers of help, and to Peter and Jen for a very welcome dinner left on our front porch. It is all greatly appreciated.
9/24/2008 | Permanent Link
Where to start.
Upon my return from Burning Man I was told my father has terminal cancer and isn't expected to live much beyond a few months -- if that. A small pea-sized blob of cancer in his lung, too small to be detected by normal scans, had spread thorough his body. By the time it was discovered it was too late for treatment.
Turmoil and uncertainty has engulfed the family and amid the tears there are some very complicated and often conflicted feelings. I always thought the death of one of my parents would be simple and direct but it just isn't. There are angles and contradictions I never foresaw. Some of them are noble and generous, but others are shamefully selfish. But they're there and I to deal with them.
Why I expected death to be tidy when life never is I don't know.
9/21/2008 | Permanent Link
As an atheist I've always been very careful NOT to push my world view on other people, especially people in crisis. When someone's loved one has died they don't need to hear my opinions on the afterlife. I know people mean well but is it selfish to expect the same courtesy?
9/19/2008 | Permanent Link
Last year I made a sizable investment in a high-tech startup firm. Yesterday I found out that the entire venture is a bust, dragged under largely by the flagging economy. Luck is not being kind on this run around the sun.
9/18/2008 | Permanent Link
It will be a long time before a vacation rivals my 2006 Burning Man trip. The sheer novelty and smoothness of that entire excursion set a very high bar for any subsequent venture to match. That being said, this year was no slouch. Burning man remains a mine of spectacular and thought-provoking encounters that could only seem anodyne to the most jaded of travelers. I had a damn good time and having Will, Madison, and other newbies along allowed me to vicariously enjoy the thrill of first encounters on the playa.
This trip proved more difficult than the last with dust storms, a leg injury, and the RV breaking down. But none of this really diminished the fun. Indeed, some of the challenges, like the storms, were a lot of fun once you finished pitching your tent in high winds. The art also wasn't quite as good as my previous visit. I don't think this year's theme "The American Dream" brought out the best in the very liberal Burning Man crowd. Don't get me wrong, there was still many fantastic pieces. I just didn't find them as personally resonate as those from 2006.
Once again I really want to thank Ryan, Mindy, Eric, Matt, and all the others who put so much effort into this trip. The planning, logistics, and endless extra tasks (glowing crab flags) that they selflessly provided really eased the trip for the rest of us. Thanks again guys for making a really great vacation happen!
My top ten memories of Burning Man 2008 - in no particular order:
Will and I took a combined total of 2479 pictures on the trip. Most are posted on my new Flickr account. Here are some favorites.
9/7/2008 | Permanent Link
